Went kite flying with my family and my darling on Saturday afternoon at the empty field near my house..There were more den 20 kites flying about..Well i guess this is a new hobby for the people staying near my area..Well i shall let my pics do the talking..This are some pics that i get to capture..The beautiful moments

6:34 AM
Up, up, and away!

The day you started lying to me is the day my trust for you died
Chance after chance was given to you but you just didn't notice it
The wound is still bleeding deep inside me
I try to heal it on my own but it just would not go away
I tried my best not to be over possesive towards you
But i know i shouldnt lie to you or to myself
Those heart aches i bury it deep inside my heart trying not to dig out again
I can forgive and i can forget but i wont forget how you made me feel
The pain is undescribeable..
Sorry to say up to today you're still not able to gain my trust back
Try to put yourself in my shoes and see how it feels
Materials can buy love for other girls but not for me
What matters is sincerity and those little details

11:00 PM
Up, up, and away!

Here i am lying on my bed blogging away not being able to sleep when my class is like at 10am today...I just cant get my self to sleep..Im not sure is it because of stress of either im just not doing enough activity during the day to tire me up and make me sleep..Tmr's my first class for abnormal psychology and my first time meeting the lecturer who's teaching this module hope everything's fine and that i can understand whatever the hell is going on with this lack of sleep..I've already gotten my first assignment..Just imagine on the 2nd day of class i've already gotten my assignment!!!..Thats damn fast!!...Oh boy!!..What do you expect, students in poly take 3 years to complete their diploma while for me, a private student i only have 1 year to complete and get everything into the thick headed skull and brain of mine...Besides class we also have to do 3 hours of voluntary work and after that back to class..the hell day is coming soon then only i guess i would be able to sleep..

Besides school that im very stressed about is also my family matters...All i can say is im sick and tired..I wouldnt want to wash my dirty laundry here in public so i shall just keep it to myself..All i can say is i regret being born in this family be it my father's side or my mother's side..

3:16 AM
Up, up, and away!

Wow!!!..I havent been blogging for a while huh...Guess im too lazy or either i just cant find the time to do so..Not sure what im busy with actually accept for just lazing around at home...School started yesterday and it was fine just as what i expected a private school to be..But the funny thing is i thought the whole class so suppose to consist of only new students but instead there were only 3 students and the rest was all previous students who joined in June..Altogether there was about less than 15 students in the class..Well thats the advantage i guess so that i can concentrate more with lesser people..Met with one of the lecturer yesterday who is in charge of cognitive psychology class..She's very friendly and fun to listen to..Though cognitive psychology class could get very dull she tried her best to make it as enjoyable as possible..As for today there's no class till thurs so i can do my research and read up my notes given yesterday...

Klah till here...need to get back to my research!!..Take care peeps!!

3:00 PM
Up, up, and away!

1:58 AM
Up, up, and away!

Leaving at home rite now for me is like living in hell...None of my family members are talking to me..I mean im fine with that cause i know that when they are in trouble or they need help then only will they come and find me..Im always someone who they use when they are in need of help after that they throw me away..When i make a small mistake, to them its like so big that they cannot forgive..haha..Well that's my family..They only know how to blame and not find the cause of what happen and why is it i turn out to be this way...This doesnt only apply to my family, it applys to the entire Hamid family..One time they will blame each other and speak bad things behind the other party but when they're ok to them its like nothing happen...Isnt that what u called HYPOCRITE????!!!!...Well for me one thing is clear i dont want to be that way, i would rather keep quite and not talk to anybody rather then turn out to be hypocrite just like my other family..I just cant be bothered anymore lar, what ever happens just let it be lar...Im sure there's going to be one big fight one day and on that day Hamid family will know who i am...The hatred i kept deep inside me for 21years will be out...For now what i know is i want to concentrate on my studies and i still have people who i can turn to, my friends and especially my dear boyfriend who's most of the time there for me...Sometimes its true how friends and bf turns out to be someone who you could talk to openly instead of your own family members..My mum is good at advicing others and showing care and concern for them but not to her own children especially me, her own one and only daughter..Im just sick and tired looking at her stupid acts..How i hope any of my family members would be reading this post so that it could knock some sense into the thick skulls of theirs....There's so many mr and mrs perfect in this family..Hey dearest uncle and aunties do you even know what your own child is doing out there??!!!...He/she could even be fucking someone out there!!!!!!!!!!!....You guys are just so good at hiding your own bad side, well to bad im not...Who i am in front of you guys is who i am outside...I have no time to act up all goody in front of you guys and at the back, a fucking bitch!!!..You guys love to blame me and my brothers and give us all that crap advices but then in the first place did you guys even look into the mirror and ask if you guys are even that good to give an advice???!!!!...WELL I DONT THINK SO!!!!!...Argh!!!...Im sick and tired of this family lar!!!...Baby please get me out of this family soon!!!...I think i should follow your advice and run to Thailand and get married there..hahaha...I just hope i dont have to go to that extend..

9:55 PM
Up, up, and away!

There’s nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go
I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK
I thought that I had every thing
I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe cause your here with me
And if I let you down
I’ll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go
Cause with out you I can’t sleep
I’m not gonna ever ever let you leave
You’re all I gotYou’re all I want
And with out you I don’t know what I’ll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Here with me do you see your all I need

Note to Baby:

Im sorry for what happen this past few weeks. I know its been rough for us but i hope we'll pull it through.. Im not ready to lose you n i know i will never be. You mean so much to me.

2:09 AM
Up, up, and away!